AUTHORITATIVE vs. AUTHORITARIAN CAREGIVERS
Authoritative parents and caregivers usually:
- Are nurturing
- Openly express unconditional love and affection
- Set firm, logical limits
- Are consistent
- Set expectations that are appropriate to the child's developmental stage of life
- Practice positive discipline
- Are Empathic
- Are approachable and encourage open communication with their child
- Provide guidance and encouragement
- Use consequences logical to the child's misbehavior
- Encourage restitution when the their child has wronged another person
- Are understanding of the factors and needs underlying their child's behavior
- Adjust restrictions according to a child's development to allow for growth and opportunity to demonstrate responsibility
- Advocate for or support their child when another adult has wronged their child
- Encourage critical thinking skills by allowing their child to question authority when the child feels he or she has been misunderstood
- Earn respect from their child by showing their respect to their child
- Are punitive
- Are demanding of blind obedience and compliance
- Withdraw love, attention and physical needs if a child misbehaves
- Use threats to gain compliance
- Mistake age-appropriate behavior for misbehavior
- Make rules and demands based on adult convenience
- Use corporal punishment
- Yell, scream, compare and use put downs
- Shame children for poor behavior
- Are sarcastic when speaking to their child
- Overlook or negate the factors or needs underlying a child's behavior
- Are non-democratic
- Employ consequences that are illogical to the misbehavior
- Use bribes or manipulation to gain compliance
- Punish children as a way to "get back at" or to "win" a power struggle
- Engage children in power struggles to assert "who's boss"
- Put restrictions on a child's freedom, autonomy or individuality in excess of what would be appropriate for the child's age level
- Fail to adjust restrictions to allow a child growth
- Fail to advocate for or support their child when another adult has wronged their child
- Insist on "no back-talk", barring a child from questioning authority when they feel they have been misunderstood
- Demand respect from their child without earning it
- Fail to adequately set limits and boundaries for their child
- Are neglectful
- Lack consistency in discipline
- Minimize when their child has a physical, emotional, social or educational problem
- Shower their child with material objects in place of time, attention, communication and love
- "Give in" to their child's tantrums in order to "quiet" the child
- "Give in" to their child's inappropriate demands in order to appear "cool" or to act as a "buddy" rather than as a parent
- Fail to adequately monitor their child's whereabouts
- Fail to provide adequate supervision and guidance appropriate to their child's age and developmental level
- Leave their child to regulate his/her own behavior in a way not appropriate to their age and developmental level
- Allow their child to associate with people who could potentially put him or her in physical, sexual and/or legal danger
- Do not encourage a mutually respectful relationship
